Jet lag is clearing, and I am beginning to process the last two weeks of life. They were some pretty special ones. Many kind souls have been praying, and I am SO grateful. The Lord has done and continues to do so much in Africa and America and everywhere in between, including the heart of Heather. I have countless stories and hundreds of pictures to spur memories that could be recounted and retold for hours. Perhaps a few of them will make their way here. Maybe more will be shared over coffee someday.
Where to start...well, returning back to reality and life here has been more of a challenge than I expected. While it is good to be home and see some dear people, I miss Africa (the people, the land, the new view of freedom, the beauty, the space, the grace experienced and shared there, the joy, the culture and way of community, and on and on). It is also a strange thing to try to figure out how the ways my heart has been forever changed fit back into my life here in North Carolina. I know that it does and will happen, but I am finding that it is an adjustment that doesn't automatically happen and feel good. In fact, the honest truth...it can seem a bit isolating. Hello, what they must call reverse culture shock :). It isn't really possible to put into words or explain an experience like this, which can be hard or lonely or overwhelming, but at the same time so cool that God is so big and great and immeasurable and chooses to keep changing our hearts. I've also jumped straight into some hard realities that feel a bit brutal...think solo pool trip, high dive, jump, no water ;). BUT the same Jesus that was near and present in Nebbi, Uganda, is right here in North Carolina. The evidences of grace seen so clearly in Africa can be found just as much here in America. The glimpses of sweet community there are still very much God's heart for us here. These things make me incredibly grateful, hopeful, and praying for open eyes and a lens to see like that here in the moments.
At the end of each day, our team sat down together, and we each shared an evidence of grace from the day. This was such a blessing and something I looked forward to and loved. It was so cool because we got to see even more of Jesus than we would on our own because we had fourteen sets of eyes and perspectives! We all mentioned the team unity the Lord provided. It was amazing to come on this trip without really knowing one another and to part eleven days later feeling like family (a word I don't use frivolously).
The following is one of (well, actually a lot of) my personal evidences of grace from the beginning of the trip. We had quite the travel adventures and events (there and back haha) which included having "technical difficulties" with our plane and turning back halfway in the air between Qatar and Uganda. We were then loaded onto a different plane for take 2 of that 5.5 hour flight, which did indeed make it safely :). Once at our hotel in Nebbi, I walked into my room, and all of the hard things, anxiety, first-time-out-of-the-country-without-people-I-knew-well fear, and culture shock completely overwhelmed my jet-lagged self. Though still excited to be there, I was nothing short of a hot mess. After praying and trying to read Scripture, I attempted to message a couple friends on the other side of the world (because that is logical, right ;)), but wi-fi and time differences failed me. That sounds pretty not fun, yes? Truth...BUT the sweetest grace came from it! I went and knocked on the door of Jay and Kim, a couple on our team that I would quickly find out are two of the most amazing humans ever. Jesus reminded me, through them, to "take a deep breath" and that I was not alone. From that point forward, excitement, joy, and peace flooded my heart, even and especially when challenges arose. That evening was followed quickly by the next morning. We arrived at Acres of Hope for their church service, and the moment we saw, heard, and joined those sweet, sweet children singing and dancing in worship to Jesus, I forgot all of the hard things in about two seconds and there was no other place I wanted to be. It was pure joy. The sweetest of worship. All of us from different backgrounds and places together worshiping our One, true God and Rescuer. I had never experienced anything like it. But y'all...the joy just kept coming. As soon as the service was over, I was swarmed with kiddos from three years old to teenagers, all around me and on top of me, touching me, playing with my hair, talking to me, hugging me, looking at me, asking me to be their friend...I realized and remember thinking in that moment that I had been waiting my whole life for this, but I had no idea. My heart had completely burst open, and I knew I would never be the same again.
💗
JOY.
Jay and Kim!
As we went through the week, our two main projects were building the aquaponics system and the pastor's conference. About half of our team was in the village for the conference Monday-Wednesday, and half of us stayed at Acres of Hope focused on digging and pumps and rocks and drinking water :). We were all able to join in to make the final preparations for the fish arrival on Thursday after the conference was over. Throughout each day, we were able to spend time getting to know the kids from the village and Acres of Hope as well as the house moms and staff. They were so welcoming and kind, and I learned so much about hospitality and doing life together from them. Another cool evidence of grace was my interaction and conversations with teenage girls over the week. The littles are usually my sweet spot (and there was definitely plenty of time to love on them too :)), but several specific girls would find me and walk with me, bring me water, show me around, watch everything I did, ask me questions, write me letters, and soak up every moment they could. My heart loved every second. The question I was most asked was "Do you have a father and a mother?" This led to some good conversation and made me reflect on the body of Christ. "So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord." Eph. 2:19-21
I wanted them to know that they could not be any more loved by God if they lived with two parents, and they cannot be any less loved or valued when they don't. This is the gospel. In order to truly believe that for them, I also had to remember to belief it for myself. Another example of Jesus working in our hearts as we love others.
There were definitely tears when it came time to say goodbye, but the memories and people will be pictures in my mind forever. I was reminded that goodbyes really aren't supposed to feel good or easy or natural to us because we were created by God for eternity spent with Him.
We were given the task to put the pumps together and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
Working so hard holding that plastic down ;)
Obviously very safe.
These two asked to be my best friends and stayed by my side the whole week.
And my sweet buddy!
Always curled up in my lap
As I relive these sweet memories and share some stories, I realize there are so, so many more. But alas, I cannot keep writing a book here. That book is written in my heart, and I'm grateful. I pray that it keeps shaping my thoughts and my life in the best ways. I have been back in America for close to a week now, but much of my heart remains in Africa. I feel like this has been slightly stream of consciousness with a dose of jet lag fog, but there are two things I want to include before I wrap up.
1. When we drove through Uganda on the way to Nebbi, I saw the most desperate situations, suffering, and poverty. I had read about it in books, heard stories, or seen movies, but when I actually entered into the lives affected by it, I was undone and moved in ways I cannot describe. Without knowing their names or even where I was, I knew right away that I loved these people and this land, and I was so happy to be here. I also knew I would learn so much from them, and I surely did. They may have access to very little material things, but their joy is great. Their smiles are the brightest, most beautiful, and they so often get what really matters. Community and doing life together, caring for one another was so evident. We spent the week empowering one another in different ways with love both given and received. So much grace.
2. Last, but not least. One of the greatest meals around the table with people I have had in my entire life. I am not exaggerating, I promise. Quick background...we missed our flight out of Uganda to come home, which was very stressful and required prayer and adapting to the change of plans. Little did we know the wonderful, most grace-filled time the Lord had prepared for us for our extra night in Africa. We stayed in a beautiful, peaceful hotel that felt like a retreat, and the best part was dinner. All six of our little travel group spent hours around that table together. No rush, fully present. We talked, shared, laughed, cried, ate, and genuinely enjoyed one another's presence. It felt like family. And maybe even the littlest glimpse of heaven. We shared evidences of grace together, and I choked out, "Mine is being at the table with you guys." This was the clearest grace to me on many levels, and the sweetest taste of His goodness. I will never forget that dinner.
I am thankful there is always room at the table.
We made it back home!
"Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts; his name is the Lord; exult before him! Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity." Psalm 68:4-6
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